Mayanist .com - Metaphysical Musings on Modern Life and the Ninth Wave

What Do You Love?

2011-11-16T06:41:00.000-08:00

After the Mayan Wave ascension date (October 28) and after the populace inspired ascension date (11-11-11), I must say I had been feeling rather even-keeled and hopeful about life and the world. I sensed that the Occupy movement--although important in its own right--was just the 'fire in the belly' ignition for a great creative phase that will reign over this planet as one of the greatest creative phases of all time--a creative Renaissance, if you will.

Then suddenly late yesterday, I was beset by feelings of frustration and sadness about my creativity having no outlet in my everyday workaday life. I felt like there was all this expression in me looking for an outlet. That's what I should be making a living practicing and sharing. But this world is such that it's about whatever can make you a buck or a pound. So I went into a bit of a down phase.

I woke up this morning and couldn't shake a continued deep pain, anguish and sadness. This time I felt it as the loss of my dream of ever meeting a soulmate or twin flame. It's easy to get into coupledom. Any old fool can settle for whoever likes them. But to be able to attract your energetic match and opposite in another and to do great work together in life, and love each other is a different story.

I don't know that many people want this kind of love. Many want a partner for security (and that's not a bad thing as coupledom certainly offers some of that). Others want the appropriate set-up to start a family (nothing wrong with wanting offspring either). Others are just bored and lonely (this may be the worst reason to seek out an earthly or spiritual partnership).

Anyway, I am a weirdo on this planet--some bizarre alien. I still have this romanticised notion of finding a spiritual partner who I love on many levels (familial, romantic, sexual, intellectual, spiritual). Perhaps it's unrealistic and I was--in a sense--born on the wrong planet. But that's just me.

So my pain over not seeing this in my future has overwhelmed me. I thought I met my partner a few months back but he was a phoney. And shame on me for not having seen through it--alas, I saw what I wanted to see: a brave, strong, wonderful man who I could join my life with).

I feel like I'm experiencing all this pain about my loves (creativity and the spiritual/romantic ideal) because of the recent solar blast towards the planet Venus. It happened yesterday afternoon and has lasted about 13 hours. Apparently, it was so forceful (and Venus has no protection against CME's) that it took out a chunk of the planet.

For those of you who believe in astrology--or at least enjoy it as something entertaining--I believe that the reading of the planets will continue to be largely affected by all of this solar activity and these storms. If we're going to ascribe meanings to physical objects (planets), we must take into account when an outside force (a CME or related solar storm) takes out a chunk of such objects.

End of the Ninth Wave... What's it All About, Alfie?

2011-10-27T15:15:00.000-07:00

As I sit here on the eve of the October 28th culmination date of the Mayan Calendar (as seen by Carl Johan Calleman) I feel a sense of overwhelm. Today was quite intense, a real crescendo in so many ways.

But I'm happy to say that it's ended on a loving fulfilled note. I know what the future holds...because the future is now. The future is happening no so quickly that every moment counts. Every moment is an eternity.

We are living in dream time in the reality. We have arrived. I don't believe this is 'leading' anywhere. Some people are attached to romanticised notions of aliens landing in ships, or humans returning to motherships or angels sweeping them up into the heavens.

These are lovely, romantic thoughts and I don't discount them. It's so important to have a rich imagination and to be creative in these times. I just don't resonate with that. I resonate with the fact that everything is right here for the taking now.

The more we 'plan' for the future the more we stumble. The more we reside in the moment, taking everything day by day, hour by hour, the more we thrive and prosper. This is the end of time...time as we knew it.

Tomorrow, 13 Ahau is perhaps the pinnacle and culmination point of it all. What will that mean? Whatever it means for you. It can mean letting go of the 'old time,' it can mean manifesting a new world. It can mean being focused on what's right in front of you.

I am feeling particularly emotional these days but I am accepting of that. I may feel emotional tomorrow. Who knows? But I would like to set the intention that I look at what I have and appreciate it and know (beyond words) that that will lead me to more bliss. I hope not to plan too much but to be pleasantly surprised by life.

In the Midst of Major Transformation

2011-10-23T16:42:00.000-07:00

I just had to write and check in before the mass ascension day of October 28th (13 Ahau) in the Mayan Calendar's Ninth Wave.

What a short, strange trip it's been. Just when I thought everything was cooling down--that's what the alternating "nights" of this cycle are for--things really started heating up again since the beginning of the final 7th Day of the cycle (October 12th).

I have suffered a weighty sense of overwhelm coupled with a tremendous amount of anxiety and dissociation. As I write this, I feel a bit dizzy and spacey. Insomnia has been another symptom. During several nights, I felt like my whole life (in the form of different details, problems, people, emotions) was being played in my head like a 'greatest hits' and 'greatest flubs.' There was so much information to process I thought my head would explode.

Other times it's been less mental. I simply feel overwhelmed, spacey and exhausted. I will have anxiety attacks and then go home only to realise that having a good long cry fixes the problem. It's a matter of releasing all the toxins. And when they accumulate and have no release, they form a wave of anxiety.

However, I will say that in previous days and nights of the ninth wave of the Mayan Calendar, a good hour long cry would get all the detritus out for at least a week or two. Now I cry for that long, feel cleansed and good and then need to cry-release again 24 hours later.

It all seems to be reaching a head--an energetic zenith. And the fear is mounting side-by-side with a sense of overwhelm from all the love that I see wafting around. I suddenly had the realisation that the anxiety attacks, uneasiness, overwhelm, exhaustion and fear are not what the shift in consciousness is all about. These are the catharsis and also the deterrents of unity consciousness.

If you flow through them (cathartically) you can let them go and make more room for the light of new consciousness. And the latter feels good, blissful, easy and fine. It is the hanging onto and amassing of the old energies that causes all the pain and discomfort.

Another symptom of ascension for me (this week) was a dream bleed. I dreamt I was attending a stranger's funeral. The next day, walking through a town in South of France, my friend and I inadvertently stumbled upon a stranger's funeral. The people were gathering together and the priest was getting ready to start the services.

To me the stranger's funeral (whether in dream form or reality) represented the death of a part of me that isn't me--some level of the ego has been dying.

Another message I'm personally getting from the universe this week is to have faith in love and men. So many of my friends have been struggling with terrible situations that have caused them to be hopeless when it comes to relationships. I too saw the person I thought was my twin soul, turn into a selfish coward before my eyes.

Yet, during this past week, messages have been coming in--in dream form and waking form--to tell me to have faith in the benevolence of men. In waking life, I have seen men behave with an incredible amount of nobility and character this week. One such man was pretty much a stranger to me.

His actions were so benevolent and honourable. In less than 24 hours, he behaved with more class, integrity and spiritual wholeness than the man I had been seeing (and then heartbroken over) had in the months of our connection.

Time is irrelevant in these days. It's energy, action and intention. It matters not how long you've known someone or whether you've thoroughly measured a situation. What matters is action--in yourself and in others.

Words can be a smokescreen and that in and of itself is evil. When someone tells you a lie in order to make themselves feel better or uses words to placate you or manipulate you for whatever reason (personal, in business, etc.) it is patently evil. The Occupy Wall Street protestors know this. That's why they're out there picketing. They don't want to hear flimsy words. They want to see valiant action from their representatives.

There is also a time for no words. That time is drawing near. It's a time to just be together, enjoy each other's company, smile, be happy and not always have to fill the void with phrases.

I love conversation, and sometimes it can be a fantastic connector. But sometimes conversations cause a disconnect. At worst they're one-sided monologues. And when they are interactive, sometimes, they become tools of the ego--a way of self-agrandizing. It's happened to the best of us, myself included.

I once told the man who broke my heart that all I wanted was to sit in a room with him silently. We could draw each other, sculpt, do something creative in each other's company. Or we could hold each other and enjoy the silence that way. I think this frightened him. He was so used to using words as a way to prevent intimacy that the idea of giving up his precious smokescreen was mortifying.

I can understand why this can be scary. But there is a time and a place for words. I think I will go on a word diet and try to limit my conversations to things that I feel are really important express, and leave out the superficial icing on the cake, so to speak.

I am exhausted so that is all the rambling I can muster up for now. No more words...

Is Anything Happening...Or Going to Happen?

2011-09-25T04:05:00.000-07:00

Apart from feeling generally unsettled a lot of the time (dizzy, visually and aurally sensitive, breaking out in cold sweats), I can't say that I feel in any way enlightened or ascended to some other level of consciousness.

I've been waiting for a while for the 'good stuff' to come--a sense of unity, my purpose in the grand scheme of life, a soulmate, epiphanies--but sadly, none of the aforementioned have blessed my life.

I've even taken to praying (I'm not even sure to whom--Jesus, a cosmic being, my subconscious, my grandfather). I've prayed to understand why certain things are the way they are. I've prayed for a sign that they will be different. I've prayed for a path--to know, without a shadow of a doubt.

Alas, I'm beginning to wonder if I'm one of the so-called chosen people or one of the folks headed for doom. To look around the blogosphere and read posts regarding the Mayan ninth wave consciousness shift, one would think that everyone was filled with bliss and joy and a sense of their life's purpose.

Yet, I'm left more dumbstruck than ever before (in fact, in past years, I've had my share of epiphanies and wake-ups--and really pretty much not a one in these recent years or months). I'm not alone. The friends around me seem equally lost or still searching.

I had hoped that this whole 'shift' would mean an end to searching. I've tried to stay in the present moment and manifest clues or the right situations but I'm sort of at the point of giving up.

Even my dreams lie to me lately. I've had a couple of poignant ones in which people that seem pivotal in my life give me messages and they seem prophetic at the time but then they fail to materialise. I used to have psychic dreams all the time and they came true too.

There is however one more external thing that will 'happen,' in the physical sense and perhaps it will provide some clarity, the right connections, the proper path...alas, if I don't see something change soon, I may lose my faith and that's not a small thing.

Around September 27-28, an unusual (but I won't dare say 'rare') alignment takes place in the skies. A new moon will be in the same sidereal constellation as Mercury, Venus, Saturn and the Comet Elenin (sidereal Virgo). It will oppose Uranus in sidereal Pisces.

This alignment is similar but opposite in tone to the one that took place in the first half of April. During that one, six planets in sidereal Pisces opposed Saturn in sidereal Virgo. Of course Elenin is not a planet and if you read any of the news out there now, the comet seems to be disintegrating due to solar flares.

If this comet does completely disappear before its much-awaited October close-up (when it's closest to the Earth), my theory of nothing happening will be complete. This will have been the biggest build-up to the biggest let-down the New Age community has ever known. It's still possible it will happen so I'm not willing that negative outcome...just making an assertion...

As far as the meaning of the alignment goes (using 'scientific' info from the last one), it indicates that external matters would come into play. During the April alignment, I thought I had fallen quite rapidly in love with someone. Both of us completely went with our projected fantasies about the relationship. They were good fantasies. And why shouldn't humans have dreams and go with them? We live in a world of 40-60 hour work weeks, a constant barrage of 'noise' and financial stress. We deserve it.

Alas, when it came time to face the reality of the situation, he ran in the other direction. So in that case, reality kicked fantasy's ass. Reality was Saturn in practical Virgo and fantasy was represented by the stackup of planets in dreamy sidereal Pisces.

Interesting that September's alignment is in the same constellations but brings forth very different energies. On the side of the practical: Saturn, Sun, Mercury, Moon, and Venus--with a comet throwing in the 'x factor.' On the side of fantasy, unpredictable think-outside-of-the-box Uranus.

Perhaps this all makes sense for the world too. It does seem like we're straddling the line between reality and fantasy--or doing what's realistic and expected and living our fantasies.

I can only hope that these planets behave as expected (although if there's one thing I've learned lately it's to have zero expectations). If they do, it would mean a radically different approach to our daily lives--whichever area your chart holds sidereal Pisces and Virgo.

For me this covers creativity, romance, children and the whimsical (on the Pisces side) and friendships, social life and long-term wishes and dreams (on the Virgo side). I would love for life to change in a positive way after that for the world, for myself, for my friends, my family.

I'd love to be blessed with gentle but certain epiphanies, delightful serendipitous chance encounters with soulmates who stay in my life, that intuitive feeling of knowing how to be in the right place at the right time, a sense of healing where there is pain, a sense of open-heartedness for new adventures and people, an understanding of my life's purpose and the will to see it through with courage and conviction, the reunion with my twin flame, and most of all and most sensibly a sense of balancing wisdom and whimsy, innocence and sagaciousness...

Keeping it 'Real' in the New Reality

2011-09-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

August was a rough month for me. It seemed like all my flaws, recurring ailments, issues were rising to the surface at once and life was pretty hard to handle at times.

The energy of September feels more balanced. In this place of balance, this place of 'no mind,' I have had some very strong indications from my spirit of what we should be aiming at in the day-to-day.

At this time of conflicting realities during the 6th Day of the Ninth Wave of the Mayan calendar, it becomes increasingly difficult to distinguish truth from fiction (personally and en-masse). The information age has ushered in--not only disinformation--but also too much information, another factor that increasingly clouds our vision.

Because we are trying to process too many bits of info, too many energies, too many realities, our true nature and true reality (the seed of the soul) can sometimes suffer. This suffering takes the form of distractions that steer us away from the preciousness of the moment. Little is sacred anymore...or so it seems.

So, it is especially important during these crazy times, to observe and honor the sacred. This does not simply mean going to a temple and praying or creating a spiritual ritual in your home. It means making the facets of your daily life sacred by honoring them with presence and the energy of attention. That could be having the best damn cup of coffee in the morning.

Perhaps you just had a funny conversation with a stranger at a bus-stop and it made you smile. Maybe you walk to work every day but have always been too busy to notice the cool architecture of the buildings en-route.

Whatever it is, there are things out there in the manifested world, that deserve your attention. Your attention, after all, is what makes them sacred. And by virtue of their origins (the un-manifested thought) they are inherently sacred.

It is also vital that your reality become completely aligned with your spirit and with your own personal truth. No one can decide this for you but you. Everyone has a different personal truth (and then of course beyond that we all share universal truths).

This means infusing your relationships, careers, hobbies, etc. with that purely truthful unadulterated energy.

Relationships and friendships figure centrally in this practice. If you have friends who--for whatever reason--do not resonate with your joy, keeping them (to keep up appearances or avoid being demonized) only hurts your spiritual growth and hurts them. If you cannot speak about someone to their face as you do when they are not around, gently, kindly, politely, back away from the friendship.

How often do we sit around with friends bitching and moaning about so-and-so and what terrible or stupid thing they've done or how annoying they are. Personally, I don't want to live my life this way. I want to honor my resonant energies and that means being around people I wholeheartedly want to be around.

This is no chastisement of the people I don't care to be around. They have perfect energies (for someone who resonates with those energies). And they deserve to be around people who totally appreciate those energies without reservation. Oftentimes though, when someone senses you pulling away they will scramble to relentlessly get you to stay in their lives. This is again counter-productive to their spiritual growth (and only makes you--the person not resonating with their energies) want to run even further away.

We've all been on both sides of the fence on this--having people pull away and being the one who pulls away. I can promise you 100% that if your energies were meant to be together (and sometimes they are in the pulling away is simply a necessary temporary state), they will naturally come together again without coercive techniques from either party. But if someone is conscious enough to see that your energy doesn't resonate with theirs and pulls away, let them go. This type of 'taking hostages' relationship will not serve either of you. It is a relationship out of balance.

The same goes for partnerships. Some people will give away their dignity just to actualize a relationship. They will ignore all of the mean-spirited behavior and shine the spotlight on one or two acts of kindness. While it's good to recognize the positive, this sort of behavior is also a lie. It dishonestly portrays your partner as being some kind of 'do no wrong' savior. It also dishonors you for you are just 'putting up' with something and making excuses for someone when deep down (in that knotted area in your stomach) you know that you are compromising your values and dignity to be with this person.

You must keep it real--especially in these chaotic times of faux (Facebook) friends and ersatz realities. It is the only practice that will help you weather the storm.

This also goes for your vocation. Sure, we cannot sit around for years waiting for the perfect job--we need money to survive. But there has to be some oversight by your spirit in the job process. When you interview with someone, do not lie about your skills. Be honest with yourself and your prospective boss or you will land in the wrong job--a job that is not energetically in-tune with who you really are at your core.

You must be honest with yourself and your prospective employer. Then, he or she is free to choose you in earnest for you (or discard you because your truth is not their truth).

The aforementioned pieces of advice may seem obvious. 'Just keepin' it real' as the urban expression goes. However, they seem to be even more poignant in a time of global and individual transformation. As you shed layers of your old egoic self, like an onion, you get down to the core nitty gritty of who you really are as a spiritual being living a (hopefully) fulfilling life in earthly form.

In this universal age, we can all acknowledge that we all come from one source and are tied together as one. Yet, we're all cells in this cosmic body but not identical cells. Close members of your cellular family are going to resonate in a way that sees your true core. You can still acknowledge the beauty and truth in others--but if you don't resonate with them energetically there is not harm in stepping away, wishing them goodness, love and life.

We cannot be everything to everyone all the time. So we conserve our energies for the ones who will see our inner truth and recognize it, for it is in alignment with theirs.

Shrouded in Mystery

2011-08-15T03:39:00.000-07:00

The most challenging part of this period of ascension in the Ninth Wave of the Mayan calendar is the 'not knowing.' There is a sense of chaos in the air and quite simply put so much 'noise' that it becomes hard to hear the intuitive voice.

That voice is actually getting louder as well. Connecting to singularity means that all of our multi-dimensional selves are accessible at once--the ultimate intuition. The trouble is, with inner chatter (which is increasing), riots, tumult, political and social roller coasters, the Internet and social media and the loudness of all these influences, it becomes hard to hear the true voice.

Taking a leaf out of my friend Mystic Guide's tree, I am choosing (at least for today) to focus only on the epiphanies--the loud and clear messages I am getting from the cosmos. I will share them with you.

-You must be ok with the not knowing. The more you fight the enigmatic and chaotic by seeking (be it on the Internet or actively seeking around you), the more you prevent the intuitive voice from being heard.

-Similarly, letting go is key. Be it in the middle of a crisis or in the middle of a frustrating dead calm, the trusting power of the receptive cannot be underestimated.

-All of our karmic debts and issues from this life and the previous ones are coming up to be contended with. This is due to the singularity (all of our selves co-existing at once--the shroud is off, so to speak). Under normal spiritual circumstances paying karmic debts would be intense. But paying karmic debts from multiple selves almost feels like too much for one being to bear.

-Whatever your core issues in your life, they will come up to the surface to be released. This may seem unfair and like 'the shit is hitting the fan' but it is the only way you can clear them once and for all.

-Time is not so much accelerating but the amount of growth and learning experienced in a period of time is increasing (thus the sense of being The Vampire Lestat--a 300 year old human). So do not worry that there is not enough time to process or to get to the ascension pinnacle. You have all the 'time' in the world as the rate of change and growth accelerates.

-You are being challenged with your same usual issues again and again...only this time you are in an elevated state of consciousness so you are challenged to deal with them in a more nuanced way as you progress to the innermost (or highest) point of your development. Try doing things a different way (or thinking of things a different way) this time.

-Exercise the muscle that is the most atrophied. In other words, if you find it hard to be receptive and passive, be receptive and passive. If you find it hard to connect or activate, connect and activate. You are being challenged to stretch your perception of yourself. Be aware of this.

'Indigo' Genius Matias de Stefano on 2011-2012

2011-08-08T15:02:00.000-07:00

Amidst all the negativity-infected doom and gloomers, comes a real prince among men: Matias de Stefano. He's not a God or a prophet. He's just an enlightened so-called Indigo child who sees through what is happening right now and has a knack for explaining it. Incidentally you should hear this kid speak in public in the above video. He is riveting and highly intelligent. Not everything he said in the video resonated but a great deal of it did.

Here's what he has to say about 2012 phenomenon (basically corroborating that it is a 2011 thing as well--by saying it's happening now--a few lines down):

"2012, a year that people are speaking about so much, especially December 21, 2012, is an equinox. It's the sun entering its spring so it starts to blossom.

My advice to everyone for 2012 is to stay totally calm because there is no need to fear what may happen. There is no need to be catastrophic or sensationalistic. It's just an equinox, the changes can be felt for days before and after. Spring begins days before "Spring," flowers start to bloom weeks before the spring equinox. Also, there are still cold days after the Spring equinox.

So we must not think that 2012 is an absolute "day to night" change. It's just an equinox, where many things can happen. Things that so many prophets and people have been talking about, but it depends on each of us to live that reality.

He who is balanced in their conscience, heart and especially in their stomach, which is the "I am," he won't live that apocalypse, not because the extraterrestrials will take them from the planet, because he won't see the apocalypse as something destructive, but as a possibility of change. It's just an change. Even the word apocalypse means this: it's something that comes after...It's a change, so don't feel scared. Don't be afraid.

Don't believe in the natural disasters that people say are going to happen because you are already living them, it has already begun. And nobody says it's the end. The process is already happening. It's just a change. It's a moment where a period of time comes to an end.The Sun's night ends and it begins its Spring, dawn starts to break.

This involves a huge change because the vibration changes, along with an electromagnetic change. Our brains, bodies, planet Earth and the systems we use like a computer, the video... work electromagnetically. Also, the Sun works through electromagnetism, so the light of the Sun may alter during the dawn of the Sun.

Why? To be concise, when one is awake at night and sees the dawn, you can feel a breeze and the birds start singing. What is happening? During the dawn, everyone starts to go through a change, a regeneration. The Sun is going to go through the same process, that same breeze begins, but that breeze is electromagnetic because of the fire that the sun creates.

So it's not humanity's fault that all this is happening, it's just a cycle, a natural process of the Earth where we have all chosen to be born and to experience and help everyone who doesn't understand this change. Don't be afraid of any electromagnetic changes inside your body or if you feel dizzy. Don't worry, you are not going to explode."

Below he explains the concept of "indigo" in the 2012 era, in less New Agey terms than most:

"...And this makes the Earth transform its energetic vibration. When this energy level changes it vibrates in a different way it changes color. The vibration level of a planet creates a different color due to the emanation of the heat. And all the souls have to adapt to that color. And the color that is vibrating today on the Earth is what is known as Indigo. Today people talk about the Indigo Children. It's not a group of souls that come with an indigo suit or some sort of indigo spiritual level. They are just new souls that are coming to work on Earth during this period. And to be able to be born on the Earth they need this indigo color to be able to work within the vibration of the Earth....What does this indigo color mean? Indigo is the color of the third eye, which we know as the eye of visions."

I find this last part particularly fascinating. I had noticed starting back about two years ago that when I closed my eyes in the dark I would see waves and lava-lamp like shapes in the colors green and indigo. Gradually the green has disappeared and literally now all I see are these moving indigo blobs.

I had actually reached out to some people who meditate and have seen these shapes as well. They seem pretty much harmless and don't have to do with anything physiological like cataracts. But they are definitely *new* in the sense that I never saw (or perceived) them before about 2008 or 2009.

Say the Word...LOVE!

2011-08-07T08:04:00.000-07:00

There is so much doom, gloom and negative prophecy in the ether--from comets to earthquakes, crumbling economies to global warming. Enough, I say!

Not only is it corny and boring...it's quite futile. Talking about future negative events--or negative people for that matter--will only increase the waves of negativity coming towards you. It's a fact.

Today, I did a meditation on healing those who have hurt me. This may seem a bit backwards, but it was actually an amazing experience. For weeks I had been chastising those who did me pain (in my mind and heart) and feeling the victim.

In a complete reversal, I asked the powers that be to send me all the love, light, gentle goodness and healing energy I could take so I could be a conduit. Then I visualized myself giving that love to folks who had hurt me.

Beyond the feeling of joy at seeing (in my mind and heart's eye) the look of contentment on these people's faces as I brandished bliss on them...there was another surprise side-effect of this experiment.

I felt very compassionate for them. I realized that they had not intended to do me harm but were going through a lot of confusion and pain in their lives and not able to be clear and balanced enough to deal with me in a benevolent way.

I also realized that by previously harboring sadness and resentment I was preventing any possibility of breaking bread with these people in the future. For on some soul level, they sensed I would not be receptive to a meeting. They sensed I was holding on to negative feelings.

In the end, the negativity you hang on to becomes part of your soul and slowly corrodes it over time. Not only will you not be able to manifest your dreams but you will kill all your relationships.

My advice, on a grander scale--at least when it comes to this comet everyone is so terrified of: send the comet healing energy. Yes, I know, this sounds uber-hippie, but it will work if we all do it. Make the comet benevolent with your energies. Make it so filled with love and light that when it passes, it will spread that energy over humanity.

In the always wise words of the Fab Four (whose lyrics are scripture to me):

Say the word and you'll be free

Say the word and be like me

Say the word I'm thinking of

Have you heard? The word is love

The Shedding: Consciousness Ascension and The Ninth Wave's Grand Design

2011-08-06T05:52:00.000-07:00

This ascension process is overstimulating and overwhelming to say the least. I can't profess to know what more the cosmos has in store for us. But I can share some insight into what I think makes the 'thunderclaps' subside.

At the moment, the forces that be are attempting to strip us down to our basest truth--who we are as individual spirits. We have been evolving from the moment of the Big Bang (separating from the unknowable oneness into fragments that needed to indvidualize in order to know themselves). Through many lifetimes, experiences and energies, we have evolved into full individual spirit energies at our cores.

Unfortunately, it is not always easy to see the person or spirit inside the man or woman. The reason for this: all the roles and constructs of society. Are we the types of car we drive? Or the types of clothing we wear? Are we our social class? Are we our intellect? Are we the company that we keep? Are we our nationality? Are we our jobs? Are we the city we live in? Are we the languages we speak? Are we an iPhone person or an Android person, a Mac or PC user? A woman? A man? A heterosexual? A homosexual? And that's just the short list.

The truth is that we are none of the above. The aforementioned have contributed to our experience of parts of ourselves but that is not who we are.

To find who we are we must shed all of those roles and associations. And if we don't? Well, quite simply put, the universe will do it for us. Personally, I would rather shed by choice than have the 'thunderclap' of God, so to speak, come down upon me.

So, a smooth ascension (versus a bumpy one) is partially a choice. If you decide to start shedding your identifiers you will be rewarded with a sense of connectedness to who you--and everything around you.

You will still have the option to enjoy, appreciate and partake of the identifiers (by enjoying the country you live in, the company you keep, your pretty apartment, etc.) but they will flow to you because you do not require them to know yourself. They will cease to become dependencies and be transformed into parts of you (as we're all heading towards unification) but in a much richer, deeper way...because you do not cling to them).

Of course, other identifiers will be revealed as 'bullshit' and you will willingly let go of them when you see through them and realize that they were not serving you.

Your fear of being without these identifiers will hasten their retreat or disappearance. Situations will come up to challenge you--from the minor and mundane to the seriously profound and jarring. On the banal level, for instance, I had always had my dad or my best friend Jack to help me get rid of rodents in my house (I'm terrified of them!) But I moved far from home, and my best friend moved as well. So what happens? In my new home, I have a little mouse problem. Now I am forced to let go of these external people--who were my 'damsel in distress' helpers, and break out of that role and just do it myself. And you know what? It wasn't that traumatizing.

On bigger levels, things have happened to me and good friends of mine, that have conspired to seriously mess up our solid, faithful identities. One friend of mine had several close friends all move away at once...probably to show him that he is not 'his friends.' Another friend left her spouse and kids. She is seeking a new identity that is not 'mother' and 'wife.' Another friend lost a job that wasn't right for him, however with that he also lost the identifier of always complaining about this job (even negative things can become ingrained in us as 'sense of identity.')

Anyway, you get the picture. Take a long, hard look at your life and see if you are clinging desperately to identifiers and what those are. Do yourself a favor and either remove them or create a scenario in which you experience what it's like to not cling to them. The alternative is quite terrible: as mentioned, the universe will impose its own tough love on you.

The Fifth Day: Riding the Ninth Wave of the Mayan Calendar

2011-07-31T04:03:00.000-07:00

It's July 31st, officially the start date of so called Day 5 of the Ninth Wave of the Mayan Calendar. So, what exactly can we expect?

If there's anything we've learned from this fast-paced ninth wave of evolution, it's that none of us can really attest to knowing exactly what is going on. This is partially because of the rapid pace of spiritual growth which parallels our society's rapid wave of technological advancement too (and this too is posing a prediction conundrum for tech business folks).

The second reason prediction is hard is that these waves are largely affecting individuals in a very personalized manner. Your breakdown is not my breakdown. Similarly your epiphany is not my epiphany.

What I can say is that the tone of the energy should be similar to what was felt and experienced during 2007. That was Day 5 of the last cycle.

Personally, that was an amazing awakening period. Truth be told, some of the earlier Days and Nights (if you follow Calleman's system of organizing the energies), had been very hard for me to handle. But that Day, the 5th Day was smooth sailing.

At this time I realized the power of my own intentions and how I could easily manifest my thoughts when I charged them with feeling and unwavering belief. It was a magical time for me (which strangely dissipated a bit after the wave crested). I was manifesting things that were beyond my wildest dreams--experiences that would have seemed to most impossible to manifest and with great speed and accuracy.

So if my personal awakening is any kind of foreshadowing of this Fifth Day of the Ninth Wave (and maybe it is for you, maybe it's not), I would predict some very amazing abilities--namely the manifesting ones--expanding.

In my recent posts I have warned against latching onto negative thoughts for they will manifest into situations very quickly and ardently in this time period of elevated consciousness and energies. During this Fifth Day I personally see it as unlikely that those negative energies will be the default setting for our mindsets. If the past is any indicator, the positive will reign supreme (with the negative still trying to peck at it from time to time).

Now is truly the time for daydreaming. Also, beyond your own wishes for yourself (which are important of course), try to project and imagine the type of world you'd like to live in. If you see something not working in your government (national or local), don't curse at it but try and imagine what the better way would be.

I try to imagine a society in which the basic elements are free because technology has made them so. So, for instance, food could be grown for free (freeing up farm labor and import/export), water would be plentiful and we would have found a new global warming-proof storage system option based on our tech, and energy would be free because of technological advancements too.

In my mind's eye, with all food and energy would be basic, free and provided for people. So people would not have to work so much to earn money for these things. They could spend more time with family, more time on innovation, more time traveling (because in my Utopia, air travel is virtually free--at least the energy part is).

If you think about it, all the problems in the world and power struggles we've faced have begun and ended with energy (oil). Food and water are now also becoming increasingly scarce. So if these basics were provided for, imagine the world we could live in! That's an order...no matter how far-fetched the daydreams may seem, it's now time to start imagining...

The Energies of Reduction, Meditations on Lessening

2011-07-30T02:00:00.000-07:00

FLASH: Another nugget of info was presented to be during a meditation last night and I wanted to share it. I am a follower of the Mayan Tzolkin calendar (a shorter 260 day calendar of energies). The energies charted in the calendar go from "1" to "13," the latter being the highest frequency wave of ascension and the former being a much lower seed-planting energy.

The information I received is that if you want to manifest a reduction in something in your life (less physical pain in an ailment, a reduction in your addictive tendencies, etc.) you should intend and meditate on this during the late evening of a "13" day. The reason is that at that time, the energies are gradually shifting from highest point (13) to lowest point (1) and this is a very special window of opportunity. Seeds of reduction sown at this time will yield very fast results.

Blue Star Kachina, The Blue Pearl?

2011-07-29T16:58:00.000-07:00

FLASH: I was just meditating and suddenly this epiphanous thought emerged...could the Blue Star Kachina (that ancient hopi prophecy about the dawn of the Fifth World) actually be the blue pearl that spiritual seekers see during meditation?

The blue pearl doesn't appear when you want it to. It is a spontaneous glimpse into the vastness of the God scheme. Perhaps the Blue Star Kachina refers to some mass flash into God consciousness that shifts us into singularity and multi-dimensionality, rather than a single event.

Doomsayers, Prickish Prophets, Apocalyptic Assholes & Comet Elenin

2011-07-29T08:51:00.000-07:00

I was in a bright mood yesterday, feeling magically connected to everything around me, overjoyed to be alive and without a care in the world. I could have died yesterday and I would have done so with a smile on my face, breathing my last breath in blissful appreciation of what was my life.

Fast forward 24 hours, and my mood has significantly changed...after having gotten sucked into scouring the Internet for news and info on Comet Elenin. It seems that every Negative Nancy and her legions of doomsayers has latched onto this irresistible topic (if you're a pessimist or fear-monger).

The comet will come uncomfortably close to earth around October 16th. And if you listen to the dark ones, it's going to bring earthquakes, floods, a polar shift, solar flares, and maybe even our demise as a species.

After reading all of this garbage, I'm left feeling that "you are what you consume." I feel like garbage.

And so, what if the comet destroys the earth in October and they are all right? Well then you and I and all the other Internet seekers have just spent over two months of our precious living time fretting, angsting, and basically trying desperately to cling on to life by looking for 'safe spots' and feverishly warning people.

This is personally not how I want to live. Ignorance is bliss. I'm reminded of that moving murder scene in the film American Beauty. The main character played by Kevin Spacey finally sees the purity and truth in his previously deemed fucked up life. He feels connected and he experiences love for everyone. Then he is shot in the back of the head and dies with a big smile across his face.

My point is that quality of life trumps quantity of life. None of us can know for sure what (if anything) this Comet Elenin will create (or destroy) in our world. And if it is the end of it all, wouldn't you want to turn your gaze away from a terrifying future event and focus on what's beautiful in the here and now?

Furthermore, I have never really understood the fixation with and fear of the extinction of the human race or so-called end of the world. We are all of us--pretty and ugly, rich and poor--headed for death in the end. Of course we worry about our loved ones; that is understandable. But generally speaking, why would we care if the world ends and humans become extinct? The answer is because you are part of some kind of inflated collective ego.

Maybe a better race of beings will inhabit future Earth and actually take care of it. If you believe in reincarnation, maybe you'll be one of them. Maybe the Earth will be still and dormant of life for an infinite number of years while our spirit roam free on an astral plane--enjoying love and adventurousness together.

In the end (apropos), I think there is only one word for someone who tries desperately and frantically to "warn" people about an event over which they have no control: an asshole.

Good Seed, Bad Seed

2011-07-27T16:01:00.000-07:00

Do you feel like your life is heaven-sent one day and hellbound the next? Welcome to the new world of instant manifestation.

Passion, you see, has two sides to it--love and hate, to put it quite simply. You are passionate about that things you adore, crave and aspire to. But you are equally intense when it comes to your fears, worst-case-scenarios and personal or planetary doomsday prophecies. Beware!

I have witnessed the manifestation of this thought scenario all week and let me tell you, it's not pretty. My negative thoughts spiraled down from just one or two seedling ideas.

I was about to move into a new place that was more or less my dream house. It was exactly what I had pictured in my mind's eye...too good to be true. In fact, I wondered when the other shoe would drop (it did).

A part of me felt I didn't deserve it and that I should have gone for something a bit more modest. And yet another side of my brain was fearful that the perfection of this place would mean a long-term stay in my present location. This egoic mind didn't want that (as egos always want stasis or the know-able and familiar).

Mind you, these were not even obsessive 24-7 thoughts--just a series of little 'background thoughts' that sprouted up on this occasion or that.

Well, guess what? The other shoe did drop and many things started going wrong related to this property. There was even a point at which I thought I couldn't live here (perhaps I didn't want to--I was afraid--afraid to move on in my life to a new chapter and so on).

So the trying week began of one debacle after another--things that made life impossible, uncomfortable and dire for me. Negativity has a way of spiraling out of control. Pretty soon I was taking all of these thoughts with me to the outside world--viewing others as foreign and unfriendly elements...seeing people exhaling large clouds of cigarette smoke everywhere coupled with pollution from buses.

Worst of all, I attracted petty tyrants like this evil bus driver who actually made me cry because he was just plain mean. Well, he couldn't help it. His dark energy had found the perfect target--someone who trusted no one, someone who was having a bad week, someone who felt crappy already and was therefore attracting feeling even worse.

But on some level, through all of my frustration and angst, I was actually also manifesting a knight in shining armor, a savior--someone who would say that it was all going to be ok. And low and behold, there he was, the random stranger on the bus who stood up for me and kept asking if I was ok (after the driver berated me). When he erroneously thought I didn't have enough money for the fare, he offered to give me money!

Then, a miraculous thing happened. Through my sea of tears, a lighthouse in the dark: I noticed that this guy had been looking out for me like the protector for whom I had been wishing. Then do you know what happened? More protectors started showing up in my life.

The kind-hearted nurse at my GP's office who made me feel totally taken care of and was such a good listener, and two more wonderful online strangers who discovered my posts on Twitter. One was simply committed to spreading the word of love and sent me a music video that made me smile. The other reached out directly to me about my particular apartment-based plight and offered to help.

So, I got the hellacious and the heavenly at once, competing for attention. What this tells me is that manifestation (positively and negatively fueled) is at peak level. It is imperative that we are very cautious about what we focus on and the energies behind it.

I admit, I got a bit sideswiped by my original house pains. They were quite severe and made it impossible for me to think clearly. However, with a couple of days and just one or two occasions of noticing positives, things are slowly but surely turning around again.

All it takes is a notice--a small acknowledgement of something positive occurring in your life. You don't have to go overboard and fake-smile at everything. Just start with the seed of an idea. After all that seed of an idea was what begot my negative spiral. Who knows what untold joys and riches the seed of a positive idea might summon?

Unemployed Monster Seeks Job: What to Do With the Ego During Ascension

2011-07-19T11:24:00.000-07:00

Due to recent developments in the consciousness of humans, that good old hard working day-and-nighter and corporate lifer, the ego, seems to be out of a job. He hasn't died. Worse: he's been deemed archaic, outmoded and no longer of value to 'the company' (the company being your new consciousness).

Because he is still living, we can't completely ignore him. What happens when you ignore the ego is that it comes back to beating down on your door even harder. You may have been feeling totally connected to spirit and to your life, in a blissful joyous state and then suddenly something feels 'wrong.' You are engulfed by a wave of insecurity or anger. Perhaps you see the people around you as irritating or difficult.

If you identify with these energies, you feed the ego and make him the boss of you. However, if you pull back and see that it is the ego 'fighting back' against all the progress you've made towards ascension, you are on the right path. The ego is not out to get you per se. It was once a very useful a tool..one that doesn't seem to work very well anymore.

When it senses lightning-speed spiritual progress, the ego gets frightened (to continue with the analogy). In a sense this mechanism is trying to protect you. It is trying to keep you moored in your 3-dimensional 'comfort zone.' It views anything outside of that comfort zone as a threat to your survival..and its survival.

I'm describing the ego here as a sort of entity or incarnation because I think it helps the human mind to grasp some of the concepts and to understand how to move past its influence.

Now that we have reached the tipping point of the 9th wave of the Mayan calendar and are knee-deep in the cycle, there is no turning back. And that's bad news for the ego. This hard worker who gave 'the company' the best years of its life is now being told that his services are no longer needed.

I, however, see a way to keep the ego 'working' efficiently in the background while not allowing the ego to be the CEO of 'the company.' What the ego does very well is to focus with laser-like precision on something (because it is constantly seeking fragmentation and separation). That can take its extreme form in obsession and compulsion.

Whether you humanize the ego (as this unemployed bloke) or simply feed the energy behind this concept to your subconscious, you must tell your ego that you have a very important job for it indeed.

This hard worker will help to put a much-needed framework around your intentions. Sometimes, especially when you're a creative person, your energies can go all over the place, dreaming of things and noticing other things. It can be difficult to manifest intentions this way, as these seeds are simply free-floating all over the place. They need a structure through which to grow. In fact usually when I consciously intend things, I use movement or chanting (waves) to contain these intentions.

Enter the ego--the great structurer. Make sure you let the ego know that it is to focus solely on this vital job of acting as a container for your intentions, and nothing else. I guarantee that it will succeed in helping you produce amazing and very specific manifestations.

For, like a young man who has lost his job, ego feels frustrated and useless. Once given a purpose he will work hard and oddly enough, may even make you proud.

The Meaning of the Mayan Calendar: Technology's Disconnecting You

2011-07-18T14:40:00.000-07:00

This is an oldie but a goodie (if I do say so myself) that I want to share at this most poignant 9th Wave period.

A Structured Guide to the Chaotic Ascension of the 9th Wave

2011-07-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

Tsunamis, earthquakes, nuclear meltdowns, revolutions, economies on the brink indeed...and that's just what's been going on externally through this 9th and final wave of the Mayan calendar (coincidentally, this Newsweek cover graced an issue that came out the same month as the 9th wave began).

An apocalypse is taking place for certain but the bulk of it is internal. Of course following Dr. James Lovelock's Gaia hypothesis, the planet too is connected to this shift. We are all one eco-system (or ego-system if you look at our 'fall of Rome' decade). The word apocalypse means signifies a rebirth through revelation. The end of one set of rules or of one world to make room for another. Think of it as the Hindu god Shiva in action.

APOCALYPSE YOU

How is this current planetary-wide apocalypse of the spirit affecting your life personally?

I can cite a few examples from friends of mine:

One husband and father decided to leave his wife after decades of marriage once he began to blossom and discover his true self.

A woman was forced by financial circumstances to abandon her long-time home and move in with relatives.

For another woman, the apocalypse began with all of her close friends systematically moving out of state and country.

A man uprooted his entire life: rented his home out, left his country and family to move half-way across the globe. He thought he had met his spiritual romantic partner but then she abandoned him.

These stories in isolation are not particularly unusual. They represent the sharp turns around which life periodically forces. But there are so many more examples, beyond these, four that this cannot simply be a 'that's life' scenario but rather a cathartic epidemic.

I say 'cathartic' because there is one growth-inducing thing that all the aforementioned situations share: they all represent letting go of ego-identified roles, relationships, people...some by choice and others via circumstance (which ultimately is choice when you think of the fact that we all manifest or deepest desires at some point).

A large part of this apocalypse involves free-floating around with no anchor and being ok with it. So it is with this point that I start the guide--which ironically is rather systematic in its approach to something extremely fragmented, chaotic and amorphous.

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

The energy of change and personal growth is accelerating

The intention-manifestation sphere is becoming more powerful

Time as we know it (past, present, future) is dissolving

The constructs that made you 'you' (in an ego-identifiable way) are dissolving

You are reaching the end or culmination of a so-called karma cycle

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

The rate of change acceleration means we're all in for a crazy ride. Changes (internal and manifested) that used to occur in the span of several years are now occurring in several months.
Previously it may have taken us days, months, weeks or years to manifest something that we intended in the noosphere. Now these intentions can theoretically manifest instantly.
No linear time clock means that the only moment dictating our lives is the present.
A painful blood-letting process of the ego is taking place, forcing you to come face to face with misperceptions, fears, harbored grudges, painful insecurities, and other ego blockages that have prevented you from being 'you' throughout your life (or if you believe in them, past lives)
Even karma burning is accelerating, which means more blockages and issues will cross your path until you are clear of them

WHAT DO I NEED TO DO? OR HOW CAN I CONSTRUCTIVELY FRAME THIS?

Because of the rate of acceleration rollercoaster you may feel completely elated and blessed one day (full of epiphanies) and completely dejected the next. This will be exhausting of course. It is important that you see the down moments as important points of release to 'clear the path.' Do not wrestle with them. Give in. Follow your intuition. That means crying for some. For others it means taking the bold step and calling that loved one you share unresolved feelings with. Whatever it is, it is a process of letting go. Think of it as a rollercoaster. It only feels exhilarating when you let go of your constraints, raise your hands in the air and scream with glee.
Knowing that intentions manifest instantly (or can theoretically now more than ever) you must begin to train your mind to focus on that which you love and which brings you joy. It is inevitable that negative thoughts will seep in. It is not your job to stop this (that would mean fighting the energies). It is only your job to not dwell on these dark thoughts. Just watch them go through your mind and then let them go. On the other hand, if you have a positive thought, an amazing idea for humanity, a good feeling about someone...focus on that while also connecting to your present moment. This sounds difficult, a bit like multi-tasking. But your power is in the present moment so you cannot let go of this. Keep bringing your attention back to the present moment as you blissfully enjoy this sense of hopefulness.
The blood-letting process of the ego is natural. I imagine the beings of the future will be ego-less yet able to celebrate their differences while also celebrating that which connects us all. Don't run from the process of facing your demons. Face them valiantly, knowing that they alone can liberate you. This means doing things that are uncomfortable for you in order to move through these difficulties and blockages. So if you are afraid of public speaking, sign up to speak in public. If you are addicted to romance and dating, try consciously being alone for a little while. If you are shy, force yourself to talk to strangers. You get the picture. This is generally a good rule of thumb as it forces you to stretch your sense of who you are and your so-called limits. However, now during the acceleration it is more important than ever to do this consciously as an active and willing participant.
When a blockage or issue blocks your path you should be celebrating it. It is offering you a chance to learn the lesson and move on (to better things). So instead of saying, 'why does this always happen to me?' or 'I can't stand this or that,' be grateful that this thing has come into your life to strengthen you.

Ultimately it's about strength and expansion. When you are as strong (in a gentle, elegant way) as you can be, as compliant and flexible as can be, and as conscious, your true face will begin to appear in the mirror. This is you in energetic form--as pure, innocent, radiant energy, pure possibility. Now is the time to do everything you have always dreamed of. There is absolutely nothing stopping you. In fact, all those things that appear to be getting in your way are actually getting you there. And the quicker you let go, the quicker they'll catapult you to the other side.

Where the Magic Happens

2011-07-17T04:53:00.000-07:00

I was at a think tank the other day which saw people from all different vocations coming together to brainstorm. I'm imagining that none of these people are into the Mayan calendar or New Age thought (just an educated guess) yet some of the things they were saying were perfectly congruous with what is going on during this consciousness leap.

They were speaking within the context of tech trends and saying that it is becoming increasingly difficult to predict what is going to happen 'next' even with all of our clever super-computers and algorithms. One guy said that it's almost as if--instead of progressing in a linear fashion like we always have--everything seems to be branching out and amorphous.

I find it fascinating that popular ideas about the so-called Mayan shift have inadvertently proliferated into the general mainstream consciousness. Of course they're not looking at these notions through a 'shift of ages' perspective. Still, it's uncanny.

My good friend James (who I hope will contribute to this blog soon) also mentioned that time is losing its meaning and traditional measure. At times, events from two weeks ago seems like they happened years ago. I am sensing this too. Some days I wake up and am not even sure there is such a thing as time.

Everything feels sort of free floating, almost like a dream. Thinking of the future has always been a security blanket for me (the imagined 'better' future). Now I find that when my mind goes into this 'future space' the yield is much less. My mind is having a difficult time grasping what future even is.

Future feels almost like a fabrication of the mind. And as the frequency of novelty and events (in my life and the greater populace's) increases, it seems also increasingly possible that one could have an intention or thought and see it manifest almost instantly--out of time.

The past seems more like a dream than ever before--particularly when I think back to my college years or high school years. It feels like I'm combing through someone else's memories.

The only thing that makes sense anymore is Present. This is the place of answers, clarity, beauty, connectedness, fearlessness...this is the place where the magic happens.

I will not live (and never have lived) my life without magic. The term simply refers to the everyday miraculous--that which pulls you out of the perceived drabness and on-and-on-ness of life. It is a creative moment in the universe's imagination.

For instance, other day, I was walking back from the Portobello market where I had just bought a falafel at a stand. I had been wondering, prior to that, what I felt like eating and if I should in fact be cooking for myself.

Low and behold, approaching me from a small distance was a handsome young man in a kilt. I had barely a moment to process the oddness of his get-up before he was standing almost right in front of me dropping things that he had piled high in his arms.

I picked up a plastic container cover that had fallen from his bundle and onto the pavement. He asked if I wouldn't mind helping to rearrange his things as he had no hands free. I tried--looking at the pile of stuff as a puzzle. Just at that moment one of the two giant baguettes he was carrying started to slip and he begged me to grab it.

It was almost breaking in half. "You can have it," he told me. But I placed it back onto the load of stuff he was carrying. We chatted for a minute and I discovered that he worked at a game (poultry) stand that had just opened on the market.

"What's with the kilt?" I asked. He told me it was a Scottish poultry company. Long story longer: he proceeded to offer me not only the baguette but a bloody package of meat--two slabs of pricey venison. So I walked home with a smile on my face, carrying a baguette and a bloody package of venison--carrying my impromptu dinner.

The whole episode was adorably worthy of a Hollywood film. In fact, if I think back on the Amero-Brit movie The Holiday, this was the perfect 'meet cute' (strange, off-beat moment in a romantic comedy when a man and woman meet). In my case it was a "meat" cute (LOL). But seriously, the moment had nothing to do with romance (at least not for me); other than the romance of Presence.

The beautiful spontaneity, unlikelihood and sheer quirkiness of the encounter completely snapped me out of my every-dayness and made me remember that magic does happen. Once again...a creative moment in the universe's imagination.

Moral of the story: such moments only happen when we exist without fears, anxieties, limits and boundaries--in the Present.

Face to Face With The Cresting Time Wave, Inner Demons and Such

2011-07-13T03:51:00.000-07:00

Remember that disturbing Aphex Twin "Windowlicker" video by Chris Cunningham from the turn-of-the-millennium? A white bearded rapper with an evil grin in a limo fondles a bunch of supposedly hot (at least from the neck down) rapper chicks who in fact all have his (bearded) face?

In the video, Cunningham makes a mockery of traditional cheesy misogynistic hip-hop culture. For me, those hot-from-the-neck-down 'girls' show what's underneath the sexy facade: the disturbed pervy face of some creepy rapper guy.

[NOTE: I've refrained from posting a photo of the vid because it disturbs me that much. Instead, I've illustrated this post with a beautiful shot of model/artist Veruschka's self-portrait]

That pre-apolayptic piece of video art makes me think of one of the side-effects of the current shift in consciousness: seeing the true face of things, as well as facing your own core issues and fears in order to release them and become the real spiritual being that you are.

SEEING THE TRUE FACE

This has been both fruitful and upsetting to me. These days, when someone is talking to me, I hardly hear their words (which sound akin to white noise), but can feel the pure energy behind them.

For example, one guy I met in my neighborhood--who seemed like he'd be a quirky, cool, interesting new pal--suggested we hang out as friends (which I appreciated since I wasn't up for anything more than that and he was astute enough to sense it).

During our meal, he proceeded to brag to me about his finances and connections for a good two or three hours. Sure, cognitively, it's obvious that he overstated this out of insecurity...many men will recognize this in themselves and their mates as standard braggadocio. But the difference for me this time, listening to him, was that I strongly 'felt' his insecurity as he was talking (rather than later).

In fact, the more he mentioned his riches, the more I saw this insecure little kid paddling a canoe that was in the process of sinking (that's the best analogy I can use for the sensation I received).

The same goes for a particular man who I once connected with deeply but who gravely hurt and disappointed me. He was charming, highly intelligent, and an extremely gifted writer (though not by trade). In fact, he used his words to create a buffer between us and to absolve himself of responsibility--for his life and for a distance between us that he created.

Because of his overt eloquence, perhaps in the past (pre-ascension), I would have read his words as such and believed what he wanted me to believe, what I too wanted to believe--that everything was out of his hands, and that he was trying his best to connect with me.

But upon reading his carefully constructed diatribes, all I could feel was his fear and panic. I sensed someone desperately looking for an 'exit' door while a fire (me and our connection) waged, threatening to engulf his carefully constructed sense of self in flames.

Prior to this, I had seen him as a beautiful spirit, a strong and valiant gentleman. But watching him build a fortress of words around us, he began to look like a weak and terrified little boy.

So, was my original vision of him (the noble, strong, gentleman) wrong? I think not. I believe what I saw was his true spirit--something benevolent and limitless. Unfortunately, he appears to losing the battle with his own inner demons and since then only the little boy has made an appearance.

In another instance, I met with a work colleague who was one of those tough, brass tacks business women. In the past I would have been intimidated by her and seen her as having total control over me and the situation. This time, as she spoke her forceful, cutting words, all I could feel was how small she felt, beleaguered even...frustrated that people couldn't see and appreciate her and her tireless efforts.

I know it sounds like everyone I encounter is 'small' and that I have some kind of 'giant' complex but from my current viewpoint, I am really seeing that quite a few people see themselves as victims and are petrified and angry. I'm not immune to this sensation either. I think I just wear it on my face rather than in my words (as my mother always says, 'it's not your fault but you have a face that betrays your emotional state').

YOUR WORST FEARS...YOUR GREATEST CATHARSIS

As we get closer to seeing our true spiritual selves, the cosmos has decided to put us face-to-face with our worst fears or at the very least our core issues, unique to us. For some, this will be our connection with family, for others our inability to find our true calling and make a living doing it. And for others yet, it will be the inability to connect intimately in a partnership.

Rest assured, whatever thread of contention has been running through your life, it will weave its way through the 'fabric,' so to speak and emerge as a knotted mess for you to face and fix, once and for all.

So what I am saying in essence is that if you are wondering whether you are growing and ascending during this current so-called 'ninth wave' of the Mayan calendar (according to Carl Johan Calleman) you need look no further than your pains, frustrations, complicated entanglements. Your formidable foe will show his face to you in the coming months. Perhaps he already has. He will work his dark magic to break you down, kill your spirit, confuse you but ultimately (if you let him) to liberate you through his 'boot camp' tactics.

You have been asked to slay this dragon--your personal demon--throughout your lifetime. Sometimes you manage to chop off his tail, other times you run. Other times you have chopped off his tail and then run. And now, in this final phase of your personal, spiritual, psychic evolution, you will face him and he will either kill you or you will kill him....it's ultimately your choice.

Man of the Year: Nowhere Man

2011-07-12T08:42:00.000-07:00

One of the most disturbing traits of the current shift in consciousness is the sense of unpredictability and going nowhere. Naturally, the song that comes to mind is The Beatles "Nowhere Man."

He's a real nowhere man,

Sitting in his Nowhere Land,

Making all his nowhere plans

for nobody.

Doesn't have a point of view,

Knows not where he's going to,

Isn't he a bit like you and me?

Nowhere Man please listen,

You don't know what you're missing,

Nowhere Man,the world is at your command!

What the Fab Four seem to have indicated--in their rockstar wisdom--is that this nowhere man struck down by lethargy, apathy and a lack of responsibility to himself--should wake up and see that he actually has command over his life.

If I had written this yesterday, I'd be wholeheartedly agreeing with J, P, G and R. However, as many of us are all too aware of, this shift changes our moods, perspective, epiphanies and downfalls from day to day.

Today, I'm frustrated at having made (what I currently perceive as) incessant but vain attempts to create my ideal reality. The difficulty about creating your own reality is that those 'x factors,' read: other human beings, can easily sabotage your plans. So, because other humans are so unpredictable, the movements of this shift and your life vision are too.

Continuing with the Manson-esque philosophical reverence for The Beatles, I'd like to add another song quote--this one more appropriate for today's spiritually exhausted energy. It's from "You Never Give Me Your Money." At the moment, my energy reserves are too tapped to get back on the rebuilding wagon. Letting go and embracing the nowhere of it, seems like a logical path of action (or rather non-action).

Out of college, money spent

See no future, pay no rent

All the money's gone, nowhere to go

Any jobber got the sack

Monday morning, turning back

Yellow lorry slow, nowhere to go

But oh, that magic feeling, nowhere to go

Oh, that magic feeling

Nowhere to go

One sweet dream

Pick up the bags and get in the limousine

Soon we'll be away from here

Step on the gas and wipe that tear away

One sweet dream came true... today

Came true... today

The Manifestation/Ego Paradox

2011-07-09T05:58:00.000-07:00

I have been following Carl Johan Calleman's version of the Mayan Calendar (which ends in 2011) since 2002 when I first met him and stayed in his shared communal living space in the countryside of Falun Sweden. Rather than go into a long explanation of why he feels the calendar ends in 2011, I'll leave readers to check out Calleman's original book The Mayan Calendar, and most recent tome The Purposeful Universe.

Adherents to his beliefs will no doubt be aware that he believes the period between March 9, 2011 and October 28, 2011 (the final, so-called "Ninth Wave" of evolution) to be mighty potent. Within that period lies the growth of 12 years worth of consciousness expansion, he explains. On October 28, 2011, many of us will have ascended to the end-point of our spiritual evolutions (that's not to say that there is no more work to be done on Earth but we will have reached some sort of zenith personally and on a grand scale).

Perhaps it's time to ask yourself if you've witnessed a surge in activity (internal and external) in your life--crisis, epiphanies, changes that seems beyond your control, breakdowns, breakthroughs, etc. The tempo of this is only going to pick up now as we are in the second half of that final cycle, speeding up the symbolic pyramid to its apex--that point at which it connects to the cosmos, like a divine wormhole.

BREAKDOWN AND THE EGO

Those awake and conscious enough to be paying attention might have noticed that one day they feel elated and 'connected;' the next: dejected, depressed, dismal and dark (all the Ds). Those who are not yet awake will just feel like diving deeper into their addictions and distractions--sex, TV, surfing the Internet, social networking, drugs, alcohol, eating, creating personal dramas. Eventually these folks will catch up as there is always a 'tipping point' (many believe that that is what December 21, 2012 is--a saturation point when everyone--even those 'in the dark' will get swept away in the waves of ascension).

For now, some of us early adapters are left feeling a bit schizo--going from breakdown to breakthrough every other day (sometimes twice a day). To be clear, the breakdowns are just as necessary as the breakthroughs. Inherent in these is a clearing energy. All the dark negative ego-based beliefs that limit and hurt us will come up to be seen clearly and released. These are all your fears, self-loathing, loathing of others, insecurities, addictive and unhealthy behaviors, grudges, vendettas, power plays, etc. The ego is being systematically broken down during this final cycle.

The ego did originally serve a purpose. After the Big Bang, the unknowable oneness burst into separate cells and matter--life as we know it. Consciousness was not yet manifest in unicellular organisms with no genders. Then evolution occurred by and by and multicellular organisms with male and female genders cropped up, and some level consciousness did too. The separation process has been taking place since the dawn of existence.

Through the universe's expansion, planets, stars--and people too--have been moving further away from each other. This has all been part of the universe's plan to 'know itself.' Each cell in this body of 'cosmic godness' is a separate entity that will have its own path.

This separation caused the creation of 'the ego,' the identification with one's self as separate from the source of oneness. Of course newborn babies do not have egos. They exist in the original state of oneness with their surroundings and especially their mother's (their own personal gods).

This separation has been necessary and to some degree so has the ego-based psyche. However, we've taken ego to the Nth degree in our society. It's grown into hatred towards fellow man, tribal separatism, nationalism, male versus female, vanity and self-gratification and self-aggrandization at all costs.

INSTANT MANIFESTATION VERSUS INSTANT GRATIFICATION

The ego is out of control in contemporary society and even in our private lives. Sometimes I feel like mine is a separate entity possessing me (to some degree it is). I see other people's egos raging and have nowadays decided not to engage with them on their level. They tell lies and do whatever they have to to survive--with little concern for the ramifications of their 'war path.'

So this question begs answering: 'If we're in the middle of some kind of enlightened ascension process, why is the ego raging like a madman who's just escaped from an insane asylum?'

The answer is a long one. As the ascension process towards October 28, 2011 hastens (and I think we can all confirm that time feels loaded or sped up these days) we are getting closer to the speed of light of consciousness.

The speed of light of consciousness is that space (or energy) where seeds planted as intentions or thoughts and heartfelt desires, become manifest in this physical world. This is the place of creative sourcing. Unless you were in a resoundingly good place spiritually and mentally in the past, it probably took a bit of time for your intentions to manifest--at best weeks, at worst years.

Think about technology as mirroring the intention/manifestation process. In the 80s you would go from a beta VCR to VHS or from a land phone line to a car phone in the course of several years. The intention of those inventions took some time to manifest. Nowadays, every few months a new iPhone is available or an update on Facebook or for your computer's operating system.

With that technological speeding up comes a personal speeding up of the manifestation of intentions. So, devoid of the ego, our intentions could feasibly manifest as instantly as in a minute or two (or more reasonably within a few hours).

The closer the energies get to the speed of the light of consciousness and intention-manifestation, the more the ego kicks up a storm. Ego is heavy, laborious and separative. It is the opposite of this light which is smooth, fast and streamlined. The ego--your ego, my ego--is on some level terrified of this light's dominance. The light is anathema to it--it threatens the ego's very survival.

So, in simple terms, the closer we get to the possibility that we can instantly make our dreams our realities, the more this burdensome ego rears its ugly head.

FACING THE EGO AND LETTING IT GO

Ultimately, it's futile to 'fight' the ego. That is actually the ego's language (a language of duality). The best thing is to give in to its tantrum and allow the negative feelings to rise to the surface to be released.

However, when this happens, you will likely be so angry you want to hit someone or throw things, or be so deeply pained that you'll want to weep deeply for hours. Perhaps you'll sense an anxiety attack coming on or some kind of crisis of the nervous system.

It's best to keep reminding yourself (via purposeful internal dialogue) that what seems painful is actually a joyous release. Frame it this way: on the other end of this rage or depression is a lightness like you've never felt before.

In other words, own your breakdown experience; don't let it own you. The result of the latter is a systematic killing of the manifestation of your dreams. Often when we feel angry or depressed, an internal dialogue takes over that says, "The world keeps pushing me down, why?" or "I'm worthless, why do I even try?" or something like that. We are responding to the feelings that the ego brings up.

Here, once again, the Buddhist meditation path offers a constructive solution. Observe your emotions as outside energies. Do not, whatever you do, invent a sorry tale for your ego's malaise, and personalize it. Just recognize these trying sensations as free-floating energies that happen to make you feel like crying or yelling.

In short, nothing's changed since you were a little kid. The ego's war is like the proverbial monster under the bed. Lift your sheets and comforter and you'll see...absolutely nothing,

Evolution is a Spiral, Not a Straight Line

2011-07-08T05:56:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER IN THE DARK

So here is my first blog entry. And before sitting down to write this I had to ask myself why I wanted to create yet another online account to which I'll be beholden. The short answer is that I don't care who reads this but I like the idea of 'putting it out there.' I won't post on any sort of linear schedule. I'll just post when the spirit moves me. And lastly, I needed to create an outlet for my philosophical, zeitgeisty ramblings--separate from my travel and culture musings.

It's unfortunate that we amazing humans--multi-faceted and creative as we are at our cores--have created a society of specialization to the degree that the web renditions of our personas seem fragmented at best. I'd love nothing more than to have one giant blog for all my 'selves' and facets. I fear that would confuse and irritate people. So here it is...yet another side of me...

THOUGHTS ON MICRO-EVOLUTION

I'm coining the term micro-evolution as a verbal magnifying glass for the mass evolution of consciousness currently taking place. Each of us, as a cell in the body of the 'the oneness' or God or whatever you want to call it, has a part to play. It is not our job to fix everyone else's life or to fix the world (what a behemoth task). It is our job to evolve ourselves, challenge ourselves and stretch ourselves until we have mastered all facets of our lives--even the ones that we find hard to face.

As we go through this process, be it solo, with the help of friends and family, via the inspiration of literature or self-help or simply by living life to its full, many of us have the (false) perception that personal evolution and progress is taking place on a linear path.

The linear path belongs to the world of algorithms, formulas and charts. It's the big lie. Well, perhaps that's overstating the point. It's the easy way for our simple human minds to perceive change. What is really going on underneath it all is so all-encompassing, chaotic and well, beautiful, that it's hard to fathom. It's been hard to fathom from our previously limited perspectives.

The complex part of all this is that as humans (en masse) evolve, so does our ability to fully perceive that evolution. In short, the world is not flat. It never was. It was easier for us to perceive it that way in an earlier incarnation when our brains could not yet support something as evolved as a round earth.

EVOLUTION IS A SPIRAL

And now the 'big reveal' occurs once again today. Personal evolution does not take place in a linear fashion. You're not cured after one injection of the antidote, so to speak. Progress is chaotic and comes in waves....ten steps forward, five steps to the right, three to the left, two back, and so forth.

The best visual description of it is a spiral. I do not own this concept as I saw it on someone's personal blog (and I wish I could recall which one so I could credit this genius). Everything in life spiraled into existence. And so our evolution spirals too.

KARMA AND THOSE SAME DAMNED LESSONS

I've had people tell me that I make the same mistakes. I choose the same type of guy who hurts me in the same way as the others have in the past. My spirit continues to be restless so I move around a lot geographically and continue to feel restless. I have the same issues with overly needy friends who illicit in me the same ice-cold response...and then confront me like all the others, and on and on. I'm sure you too have your own 'story' that contains very similar punctuation points or plot twists.

We are not choosing the same bones of contention throughout our lives because we are dumb. I think we do this for quite the opposite reason: our spirits are smart; they want to grow. We are confronted with the same issues and types of people (or energies) repeatedly from different vantage points in order to ultimately ascend after passing the test that our soul has laid out for us.

We start from the outside of the spiral and meet certain types of people, choose to react a certain way (often poorly as we're at the innocent beginning of our journey). Then the spiral loops around and comes back to the same spot. We have to meet these same energies and situations again (not necessarily identical people or circumstances but ones that are very similar in tone). This time we have had some experience and our spirit has grown. We have changed. Now we deal with them in a different way. It's not correct or incorrect. It's an experimental work in progress. And the spiral continues.

It can feel like you're losing your mind if you don't see how the spiral is a smart design and rather intentional. It can feel like, "Oh no, I thought I grew so much and earned my stripes, but I'm back here again!!! How can this be?" Yes, you're back here, but the you in that sentence has changed. And in order to pass 'go,' collect your $200 or simply get closer to mastery, you make different decisions this time.

Not all of those decisions are external. Sometimes a decision is represented by the way you choose to think of a situation. It may not be that a response from you to another person is required. The response can be internal.

THE SPIRAL FOR TECH-NERDS: A GRAPH

Your soul has decided in a timeless manner (before you were born, while you're here, in the future in the ether--all occurring synchronously) the path it needs to take to reach its full growth. Imagine a graph with plot points on the 'x' and 'y' axis. Connect all the dots and you get a curving line.

This curving line is your 'path.' This is the pre-destined part of the story, if you want to use those monolithic terms. So what is free will? Free will, I believe is how those dots on the graph manifest. The energy behind you taking a trip to Tibet, for example, could be the same as the energy of you getting married (it's all contextual within your life). Both may have the same overwhelming impact on your life--to stretch you outside of your comfort zone and teach you certain lessons about yourself, but the experiences are different.

So, ultimately, you get to choose which experience pivots you in this direction or that on the graph: free will. But the graph is already defined.